Asking for
guidance from spirit cards housed at the soul-invigorating the OM place , the Universe
directs my attention back to dreams and desires waiting to be unearthed and
watered in the unfolding new year.
***
The moon wakes me.
Brilliant beams
of pearly light pour through the blinds, bathing my bed, caressing my hair,
massaging my face, enticing me to slip off dreams and gaze up to marvel at her
celestial splendor.
The Lunar Queen
exudes majestic grace, and I am awe-struck and pleasantly lulled by her
luminous aura. At ease in her royal presence, this benevolent listener to
desires, dreams, midnight hungers, softens me back into the whispering question
present here at the start of the new year:
What do I want?
What do I
really, really want?
The question
looms as big as the moon. Weighty in significance.
Clarity blazes
in power. A lightening bolt realization creates a path. The desire awakened.
The awakened desire forms the vision. The vision informs decisions, the
intuitive seeking, the surrendering of the vision to the higher design.
But what do I
want? What do I want in 2018? What do I want in a fulfilling job? What do I
want to do with my creativity, my yoga teaching, my rumbling desire to speak?
What do I even want in a man?
The answers are
here. Here in this moonlit room. Here in this enchanted and craving heart.
Knowing what I
want, or actually, granting myself the permission to piece together the messages
my soul yearns to release illuminates the questioning uncertainty like the
moon.
What do I want?
Here’s a sweet list of moon-bathed cravings:
*Stillness.
Meditation. Prayer. :: A sacred creation of space to step closer and closer to
the divine, and sink deeper and deeper into the core of my own inner knowing.
*Books. Poetry.
Words. :: I ache to rekindle my relationship with reading. Words sketch worlds
and thought-patterns into my mind, leave an imprint of energy, and I have been
cautious of the writings I allow into my inner chambers. I can maintain the
boundaries and quench the thirst by trusting feeling to reach and devour
enriching reads. There’s also no competition for the amount of books read, or
the number of poets befriended. I prefer a slow romancing of delicious reading.
*Speak. Act. Tell
the story. :: There’s a restlessness to speak, to channel a love for stories to
advocate and take to the stage and blaze. Poetry slamming, improv, storytelling
beckon as avenues to creatively unleash, and here’s to stepping up and
breathing life into words ready to take flight in front of an audience to my
nerve-wracking delight.
*Write. Revise.
Write. :: A day without writing feels lifeless to me, so now is the time to
replenish and feed the aliveness that writing grants me.
*Laughter.
Flirtation. Romance. :: I am complete and bask in independence, and I am also
intrigued to experience the company of men who are healthy, mindful, and
inherently, kind. I seek a man who is strong enough in his light to hold me in
my darkness, and not be intimidated by my blaze. My shine is not to be abused
as a source for emotional healing and then quick departures until that warmth
is needed again. My light is not to be strangled out of competitiveness and
control. I am clear on my worthiness and I invite a man who is centered in his
shine to celebrate and journey with mine.
*Water. Ease.
Essential Oils & Green tea. :: May the words and behaviors of others travel
off me like water. Emotions, thoughts, sensations are all currents of this
being human experiment. There’s no need to get swept up. May I notice, breathe,
take what is needed to hydrate the spirit and let the rest river away. May I
choose ease, lightness, serenity to be signs of soul-aligned yeses and
heart-honored nos. May I sip green tea and delicately drop perfumed oils onto
tender wrists and the back of the neck to offer a peace to a body, to a shield
of skin that I am here to no longer punish, but beautifully listen and revere
in its healing.
And I crave
twinkle lights, mint chocolate chip ice cream, dreamy afternoons in book shops,
coffee dates, and uninterrupted stretches of contemplative solitude, but most
of all, I crave this moment to be enraptured in the startling exquisite
presence of the moon.
