Summer Love

A friend’s CD mix sings from the car stereo. Early evening sunlight streams through the open windows. My pink sunglasses are perched on my head, my eyes drinking in the splendor of the golden sunlight. Stopped at the light, my fingertips stretch out and tango with the sweet summer breeze.

I breathe in and slowly exhale, listening to the melody of emotions here with me: there is a delicious sense of freedom, a thrill for the unknown, a growing love for my present self, and the slight tug of heartache.

The sudden awareness of this quiet heartache surprises me. I resist. I don’t want to be heartbroken all summer, I inwardly moan. Summer is my time! Past summers have always held some sort of head-over-heels romance, and I’m not particularly game to be nursing a broken heart through this rather splendid one. Why can’t I just be over this old fling so I can be sparkly and ready for the next heartthrob?

You’re still healing, my heart replies. And better to fully heal and move on with grace than ignore and be traveling with that silent, hovering ache.

So, waiting at the red light, I sit with the heartache. I listen and hear the lessons She’s teaching me.

This heartache opens me, and lets my ability for empathy grow, so I can be wholeheartedly present for those who’ve been heartbroken, and emotionally wounded.

This heartache asks for me to be brave as I examine my insecurities, my issues of self-worth and my patterns with men.

This heartache encourages me to be courageous in what I ask for in a man from the Universe.

Be courageous enough to ask for the guy of your dreams, the Universe whispers to me.

This heartache unearths a deep well of love I have for myself.

Maya Angelou’s wise words emerge, “I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’

There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

Now is the time to love myself. I am my own summer sweetheart and affirm my worthiness with each steady, nurturing breath. I start this radical love affair now. Right when the light turns green. Hair blowing in the breeze, feeling super chic in those pink sunglasses, I immerse myself in the moment and whole-heartedly embrace my present, single and abundant self.

Reader, wherever you are on this life journey, with a fellow companion, or ridin’ solo (holler, Jason Derulo!), love yourself and let that summer love shine.  

Summer Love Playlist

1. Into the Open – Heartless Bastards

2. Coffee – Sylvan Esso

3. Bridges – BROODS

4. Step – Vampire Weekend

5. Song for Zula – Phosphorescent

6. Dearly Departed – Shakey Graves & Esme Patterson

7. Lake Michigan – Rogue Valley

8. She Lit a Fire – Lord Huron

9. My Father’s Father – The Civil Wars

10. Song for You – Alexi Murdoch

P.S. - Many of these songs are gifts from fabulous friend and comedian, Monica Wain, the next Tina Fey. Treat yourself to a few laughs and follow her blog! 

Lex Style: Free Spirited Fashionista

Introducing Rachael Castetter! This perfect-for-Spring dress is one of her

 own original creations!

Happily shining the fashion spotlight on the truly talented designer and free spirited fashionista, Rachael Castetter.

I was lucky enough to be office mates (best type of roommate in my opinion, no tiffs over dirty dishes and rent!) with Rachael this past year at the Carnegie Center (literary home/workspace). She’s my Carnegie Center confidant, INFP  soul sista, and fashionista superstar.

My work mornings consisted of getting coffee, greeting Rachael and then cooing over her creative, artistic ensemble: a boldly patterned dress paired with a striking necklace; a flowy, long skirt layered with a fitted tee and knit cardigan; pink pants topped with a shimmery grey crop top.

Her nonchalant response to my fashion marveling typically went like this, “Found this at Goodwill and thought it’d make a pretty skirt,” or “had this fabric lying around and I had free time last night, so I made this dress.”

Umm…WOW.

I’m in awe of Rachael’s designer talents. My artistic abilities stop at the page, so I am enthralled by friends like Rachael who are superbly gifted in fashioning chic and cute clothes. I can attest that she’s a flawless seamstress. I once gave her two big old shirts I had lying around and they were returned to me as fitted, sexy tops that I love beboppin’ around in!

She even featured as a designer for Carnegie Center’s Great Gatsby party. Inspired by Daisy Buchannan’s famous quote about Jay Gatsby’s colorful array of expensive clothes, “It makes me sad because I’ve never seen such beautiful shirts before,” Rachael fashioned a flapper dress out of men shirt’s she found at the Goodwill. This is a dress a flapper would definitely want to Charleston in and also, one this modern gal would feel utterly cool coffee shopping and pattering around town in.

As the beautiful shirt dress shows, Rachael possesses the gift of a true artist: she can see the beauty in a discarded piece of fabric and with practiced, patient sewing hands lets that beauty emerge into a new piece.

  

A snapshot from Carnegie Center's Great Gatsby Party! Rachael set up the scene 

and fashioned this lovely model's flapper chic dress! 

Rachael’s passionate commitment to social justice is her most striking fashion statement. Most of Rachael’s clothes are bought second hand, or purchased from Fair Trade companies. Her conscious apparel mirrors her moral conviction for helping others, and inspires me to be more aware of my purchasing choices.

In less than a week, Rachael will be headed down in the aisle into the arms of wedded bliss. She’ll be making a grand entrance in her mother’s wedding dress that she has altered and crafted into one perfectly stunning and fit for a garden wedding. All the bridesmaids’ dresses are bright fashionable pieces lovingly made by Rachael and her talented mom, too! It’ll be a fashion show for sure and I’m honored to be part of the celebration for this beautiful, pure hearted and fashionably chic friend!

Sparkle: The Word For My 24th Year

In January, I mused and mused on a word that resonated with me for 2014. Intuition? Love? Compassion? Fabulous words that could reveal many a lesson, but none felt like the right fit for the 2014 journey.

Now the winter winds have passed and glorious sunshine is here, I found myself freshly inspired by my May Birthday. In the whirlwind of birthday excitement and dreams, the word for 2014, or really my 24^th year, emerged all decked out in glitter and sunrays. SPARKLE.  Yes! Yes! This is the word, my heart proclaimed. My 24-year-old self wants to Sparkle!

Sparkle invites my inner light to SHINE through writing, dancing, playfully chic outfits, and yummy yoga practices.

Sparkle keeps me shimmering, burning through thought and relationship patterns that no longer serve me, and creating warmth and space for those that do.

Sparkle ignites the flame for creativity, encouraging me to be bold and brave, to write from the heart and dance wildly!

Sparkle snaps her fingers and sways her hips. Stay sassy, and be proud of your feistiness, she says with a wink.

Sparkle, my pink and golden glittery friend, I am happy you jumped out and shouted, HEY! She’s my road trip companion for this 24th year’s journey, and I’m curious and excited to see what lessons she’ll bring.

So as Zora Neal Hurston says, “Show Your Shine! Jump At the Sun!” 

And I’ll add, Sparkle On, Dear Readers, Sparkle On! 

Birthday Love and Some Magic

Before going to bed, I set up a little birthday altar to greet my 24 year old self! 

Birthday magic is in the air. I am breathing deeply, closing my eyes and then opening them wide to make a wish, dreaming and manifesting. I bid 23 adieu. I reenergize my 2014 intentions and start anew with the brilliant age of 24.

This past year has been one of immense change, transitions weathered, insecurities bubbled up to the surface to be seen and then handled with love and care. Friendships strengthened, relationships released, and a returning (again and again) to loving myself, to softening and showing compassion. I place the lessons of 23 in my heart, in my pockets, and give the heartaches to the mischievous Spring breeze.

I turn the page into the unknown, greeting uncertainty with a latte and a deepening belief in self. I write the story of 24^th year here.

I Begin Here. I LOVE Now. Let that Birthday Magic Shine!!! 

Fierceness & Freedom

Urban Yogini strikes Camatkarasana, Wild Thing Pose

On the eve of my birthday, I invite fierceness and freedom to guide me on the mat.

Spontaneously, I spin open into a wild thing. Letting space stretch across my chest, I invite my arm to reach back. Grow long, my body urges, and my toes kiss the earth. I land back in downdog with an exhale and settle here, feeling a wildness and a sense of freedom spread within my heart.

I express freedom on the mat by flowing playfully from pose to pose. Fierceness is unleashed through wild thing, dancer’s pose, and a long held goddess stance. My ujiayi or victorious breath begins impromptu; an unconstructed wave of inhalations and exhalations feeding my inner fire and liberating my mind from negative chatter.

I rekindle fierceness and freedom on the mat and invite those guiding words to accompany me out into the growing heat of summer. Off the mat, fierceness materializes in leopard leggings matched with pink tops and singing along to Iggy Azalae. Freedom nurtures all parts of my personality and invites self-expression for all multitudes of my being.

Fierceness manifests in declaring boundaries, carving out space for me to write and fiercely honoring my time alone to create, daydream and be. Freedom lets my muse wander, creating yoga sequences, writing stories, piecing together the perfect Tuesday ensemble, and clearing out a sacred corner of beauty in my room. 

Fierceness demands I stay true to myself as I navigate transitions and muse on the next step. Freedom encourages self-exploration, travel, and following passions. On this birthday eve, I’m ready to start anew and embrace with a fierce and freed heart for all the summer adventures waiting for me.

Fierce and Free PLAYlist:

1.   Awake – Tycho

2.   Lollipop – The Chordettes (Squeaky Clean Desert Eagles Remix)

3.   Sweet Disposition – The Temper Trap

4.   Only Love – Ben Howard

5.   We Own the Sky – M83

6.   Dougou Badia (feat. Sanigold) – Amadou & Mariam

7.   Diet Mountain Dew – Lana Del Rey

8.   Fancy – Iggy Azalea

9.   Tell Me Why – M.I.A. 

10.                See – Tycho

11.                 Hayling – FC Kahuna

12.                 The Wind – Cat Stevens

Lex Style

The arrival of Spring awakens creative energies. Closets are cleaned, spaces redecorated, or simply adorned with fresh flowers, daydreams of travels manifest into reality. There’s a desire to reconnect with friends, return re-energized to a forgotten project, nourish a passion, and entertain a creative hobby. This Spring, I’m indulging my fashionista side.

My inner fashionista uses dress as a form of self-expression, it’s an artistic outlet for my many moods, whims, and desires. Piecing together an ensemble empowers me to be a creatrix celebrating my femininity and individuality. I take an interest in trends, but only follow them if they speak and resonate with me.

As an avid people watcher, I see Lexington fashionistas tweaking today’s trends and rocking them out in a personalized style that is eye catchy and chic. My creative self wows over the eclectic parade of style I see in my hometown. My friends and coworkers consistently amaze me with their fashion creations. Therefore, in honor of the creative tides of Spring and the fashionistas who brighten my life and the Lexington style scene, I am introducing a Fashion Spotlight to this blog! The featured fashionistas are locals whose artistic ensembles celebrate their individuality and beauty.

The first (in a long line up of cool cats!) is my kindergarten, yoga, AmeriCorps sista soul mate, Delia Rose Gibbs. Dating back to kindergarten (we’ve got the photos to prove it!) Delia has been glamming out in dresses. From classy black to playful prints, Delia effortlessly intertwines feminine sophistication with fanciful whimsical flair. Her passion for justice guides her to making conscientious buys from local boutiques and fair trade sellers, resulting in a look that is soft, intentional and exquisite.

Here is Miss Delia Rose (outside of our Friday coffee place, A Cup of Commonwealth) in an eclectic and fashionable outfit that easily transitions from work appropriate to weekend fun!

Get the Delia Look:

"Bet Your Bottom Dollar" boots from BC footwear

Tights - Riteaid (ha!)

Dress - Kensie Girl

Jacket - Black Market

Bag - Servv, fairtrade clothing company!

Dedication

I sprint inside the colorful coffee shop for an afternoon caffeine kick. Pressed for time, I impatiently wait by the stack of magazines and newspapers. My mind runs through my to-do list, making a mental check list for the upcoming yoga class I am about to teach, even jumping ahead to tomorrow and pondering outfit choices (what shirt would be suitable for both work and then yoga?). Then, the young girl’s face on the cover of The New York Times pulls me into the present. Her eyes don’t meet the camera. Her schoolmates, silent figures clothed in long, grayish robes, surround her. The article reports about the recently released video of the schoolgirls as a hopeful sign for parents, at least suggesting that the girls are still together and alive.

The Nigerian schoolgirls sudden presence in the coffee shop puts my reality into sharp focus. I feel guilty about being so safe and secure in my slither of the world. Any grumblings I had about my day dissipate as I search the face of the photographed student. What violence and madness has she witnessed? I feel small standing next to the newspaper, powerless to help. My drink is called and I feel again a bit silly, a bit too privileged to so freely romp around while there are girls in the world who chance death by simply walking to school.

I step out into the hot spring day. Already my thoughts are turning back into the usual cycle of to-dos: ahead of me is the drive to the yoga studio and two classes waiting to be taught. My world is faraway from the forest keeping them captive, but the schoolgirls remain with me. I carry them out into the sunlit day, more aware of the heat, the brilliant sky, the soft breeze.

I slide into the muggy heat of the car, think about checking my phone, and begin to rummage around for my ipod, wanting to blast a new playlist. I know these signs: I want to bury my discomfort in loudness and external busyness. I force myself to pause. Pausing is hard, I don’t want to acknowledge the heavy emotions stirred by the photograph, but if I don’t recognize them now, they’ll fester and snap out sooner rather than later.

I place my hand over my heart and breathe. I listen to the anger, disbelief, sadness. I breathe in the pain and fear the girls and their parents are feeling. Listening and breathing creates a space, a softening where I can safely dwell and be.

Breathing consciously, I feel myself in my body and give thanks for it. My mind sweeps through the interactions I have had with people today and I silently offer the people in my day thanks and peace. My thoughts gently turn to the approaching yoga classes, to the teachers and yogis who will be sharing their practices with me, and gratitude for the opportunity to teach, for the ability to spread a ripple of peace blossoms within my heart.

I return to the Nigerian schoolgirls and dedicate my day to them. I intend to speak loving words, invite peaceful thoughts toward myself and others, and act with purpose and poise. The schoolgirls empower me to be a being of peace in this small corner of the world that I call home. For a moment, in that colorful coffee shop parking lot, their world and my world feel connected, and not so very faraway.