A
friend’s CD mix sings from the car stereo. Early evening sunlight streams
through the open windows. My pink sunglasses are perched on my head, my eyes
drinking in the splendor of the golden sunlight. Stopped at the light, my
fingertips stretch out and tango with the sweet summer breeze.
I
breathe in and slowly exhale, listening to the melody of emotions here with me:
there is a delicious sense of freedom, a thrill for the unknown, a growing love
for my present self, and the slight tug of heartache.
The
sudden awareness of this quiet heartache surprises me. I resist. I don’t want
to be heartbroken all summer, I inwardly moan. Summer is my time! Past summers
have always held some sort of head-over-heels romance, and I’m not particularly
game to be nursing a broken heart through this rather splendid one. Why can’t I
just be over this old fling so I can be sparkly and ready for the next
heartthrob?
You’re still healing, my heart replies. And better to fully heal and move on with grace
than ignore and be traveling with that silent, hovering ache.
So,
waiting at the red light, I sit with the heartache. I listen and hear the
lessons She’s teaching me.
This
heartache opens me, and lets my ability for empathy grow, so I can be
wholeheartedly present for those who’ve been heartbroken, and emotionally
wounded.
This
heartache asks for me to be brave as I examine my insecurities, my issues of
self-worth and my patterns with men.
This
heartache encourages me to be courageous in what I ask for in a man from the
Universe.
Be courageous enough to ask for the guy of your
dreams, the Universe whispers to me.
This
heartache unearths a deep well of love I have for myself.
Maya Angelou’s wise words emerge, “I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and
yet tell me, ‘I love you.’
There
is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a
shirt.”
Now is the time to love
myself. I am my own summer sweetheart and affirm my worthiness with each
steady, nurturing breath. I start this radical love affair now. Right when the
light turns green. Hair blowing in the breeze, feeling super chic in those pink
sunglasses, I immerse myself in the moment and whole-heartedly embrace my
present, single and abundant self.
Reader, wherever you are
on this life journey, with a fellow companion, or ridin’ solo (holler, Jason
Derulo!), love yourself and let that summer love shine.
Summer Love Playlist
1. Into
the Open – Heartless Bastards
2.
Coffee – Sylvan Esso
3.
Bridges – BROODS
4. Step
– Vampire Weekend
5. Song
for Zula – Phosphorescent
6. Dearly
Departed – Shakey Graves & Esme Patterson
7. Lake
Michigan – Rogue Valley
8. She
Lit a Fire – Lord Huron
9. My
Father’s Father – The Civil Wars
10. Song
for You – Alexi Murdoch
P.S. - Many of these songs are
gifts from fabulous friend and comedian, Monica Wain, the next Tina Fey. Treat
yourself to a few laughs and follow her blog!
