Mercury
is in retrograde. This Gemini’s world is topsy-turvy: thrown away keys,
misplaced phone, forgotten work commitment, miscommunications, and technology
frustrations.
I feel
vulnerable, my heart utterly exposed and highly sensitive. I crave home comfort.
I hide away in my room with my books, yoga mat and music.
Night
falls outside my bedroom window and I replay the week. I awe over the contrast
of my Monday self to the one sitting here tonight. My sparkly self shined
through the beginning of the week, and then sputtered out as old patterns of
self-worth emerged. The inner critic reprimands me for not doing enough, for
not giving it my all, for not being enough.
My
mistakes outweigh the golden moments. The golden moments are so precious. The
mistakes brought lessons. My True Self knows this, but my insecure ego-mind is
on repeat. My True Self’s voice tunes in and out, like static on the radio, and
I’m desperate to find the right channel.
On these off days, these moments
where I feel disconnected, raw and emotionally wild, I need my breath, my yoga,
my own gift of kindness even more. An extra ounce of discipline is needed for
me to pause and take three conscious breaths, or to unroll the mat, but once
I’m there, I feel my heart heal itself.
Don’t fight the mishaps. Surrender to the flow, and
take several long breaths in child’s pose.
Trusting the flow of life, loving
myself unconditionally – when I’m sparkly and when I’m defensive and aching –
are lessons learned, and then relearned again and again.
Mercury goes out of retrograde in
early July. I intend to surrender and trust, forgive and maybe even gently
laugh when I make mistakes, because life’s not meant to be taken too seriously
anyway.
Mercury, my Gemini home planet, I
acknowledge your whacky, mischievous presence. I’ll be living with your
trickster self by making a conscious effort to back up my work, communicate
clearly and make a spare copy of keys. I’m in for this mercurial ride, hands
off and heart full of love.
