Wild Geese by Mary
Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on
your knees
for a hundred miles through
the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft
animal of your body
love
what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours,
and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the
clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the
landscapes,
over the prairies and the
deep trees,
the mountains and the
rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese,
high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter
how lonely,
the world offers itself to
your imagination,
calls to you like the wild
geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your
place
in the family of things.
These weekend mornings, I am an advocate
for sleeping in. I relish waking up and staying in bed for an hour or so to
just daydream and rest in the comfort and warmth of pillows and blankets. My
body needs this time to simply rest and my mind needs the time to joyfully
explore and imagine, while slipping in and out of consciousness.
This is change from my old morning
routine, where I forced myself to bounce out of bed, even on the weekends, and
get started on the mental to-do list.
“It’s not even 9 o’clock and I’ve
finished so much!!”
Not feeling it. And I may never feel like
that again, and that’s all right.
My inner critic is not a fan of these leisurely mornings.
When I finally decide to move, I rise with a twinge of guilt. The “I
could/should have been” discourse.
This morning, as the guilt began to
swell, Mary Oliver’s words of wisdom emerged and dissolved the brewing guilt
storm:
“You
only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
Right now, my body drinks up rest; it
sips up those easy mornings like a delicious hot chocolate with lots of whip
cream on top.
Listening to my body is still a new
concept for me. Even though yoga (which teaches us to be in our bodies and
honor them) has been such an integral part of my life, I’m more accustomed to
combating my body’s wishes than treating them with respect. Frequently, I criticize my body’s cues
for quiet time. The transitional time from academia to the work world has
provoked several internal attacks on my introversion.
During school, my schedule was flexible.
I could create quiet time in the morning at a coffee shop to write, nap in the
afternoon, and have quality friend/study time in the evening.
My current position is much more rigid: I
need to be at my office and be available to the needs of volunteers, school
administrators, and coworkers. I heart-fully enjoy working with people, but devoting
all my attention and time to people also drains me. As the workweek ends, my
body and heart aches for comfort time, not bar and social time.
I’ve cursed my introversion, wishing I could be the superstar lady who radiantly gives her full energy to work, family and friends at all times and days of the week, but this idea is a creation of the ego and a productivity obsessed society. The times I push myself, my body is quick to respond by getting sick, which forces me to go home and rest.
After years of combating my body, I’ve
decided to surrender and let my body love what it loves.
And right now, it savors alone time where I recharge by journaling, practicing yoga, and blasting music and dancing around my room.
My body craves nourishing, good foods. It
wants to happily consume yummy fats, like avocado plump grilled sandwiches and
olive oil drenched pastas.
Rest is essential. I’m committing my weekends to be a guilt-less time for daydreaming, sleeping and resting.
Letting my body love what it loves nourishes my full Being. It’s part of the 2014 package of nurturing love for myself. So, here’s to avocado sandwiches and daydreamed mornings, may you listen and let your body treat you to the some goodness, too.
