What am I seeking in my yoga practice?
This question presents itself before I compose
a yoga class. The answer
consistently changes – comfort, forgiveness, self-love, playfulness, movement,
or stillness. The answer can be
inspired by a song, a word, a pose, a poem, a moment recaptured by the breath.
The trick is to be patient and to listen for that answer; otherwise I force out
a meditation and a sequence that tries too hard. I’d rather let the heart
answer and have the class flow from that soft, wise place of knowing.
Today I am seeking space. I am seeking space
to just be. Space from my ego fueled thoughts. Space to move and stretch and be
a warrior and be a goddess and maybe a tree or an eagle all in the sweet span
of an hour.
I want to embrace my identity by releasing it
into the steady rhythm of breath and transitioning from movements to pauses and
pauses to movements. I want to be in my body, present in my toes, while returning
back to the realization that I am not defined by my physical imperfections and
limitations. I want to be within and without and crave the space to be both.
I desire my breath to create delicious space
within my body, and in that space I will dwell, like a queen owning her thrown.
Connected to my authentic self, I will then be able to reach out to my loved
ones and radiantly be in their presence.
Granting myself space, I can give others the
permission to just be, in whatever space they are in, or have chosen to be. I
once read that a sign of inner peace is a decreasing interest in judging and
mingling in another person’s affairs. I relish that idea of surrendering judgment
and accepting others, unconditionally, for who they are and whatever space they
are in at that time. After I engage in the internal struggle to judge someone
so I can be in the right, or so my vulnerabilities can be soothed, I find it
more relieving to just let others be; after all, judging just clogs my
lymphatic system.
Acceptance is an essential part of my yoga
practice, especially teaching. I eagerly wish to give students space: full
permission granted to be who you are right here and now. Take the vinyasa, or
leave it behind to curl up in a child’s pose. Sweat through the thought-webs,
or be a witness for a moment or two to your breath and the tone of your mind. I
just silently hope that the mat is not a place where you feel pushed to impress
and prove. I hope it’s your sanctuary, and in your kingdom of light, breath and
life force, you are reminded of your infinite worthiness and divinity.
My own struggles and inner seeking for acceptance are reflected in my desire to plant that wholesome seed of belonging into my students’ practice. Gently I am reminded that I can only give what I have. Love, compassion and acceptance must find a home within before they can be wholeheartedly given to those I share my life with and am blessed enough to teach. For my yoga practice today, I affirm the permission and the space achingly needed to welcome my being into full, vibrant existence.
