Softening: this is my new daily practice. I consciously pause and remind myself to soften the tone and volume of my thoughts. I soften my shoulders, relax my hips and let my belly be like liquid. I soften so I can be gentle toward others and myself.
This
practice is a keepsake from a yoga practice I shared a few years ago with a
very wise yogini and friend.
“Soften your
face, your brow, your lips, the corner of your eyes,” she reminded the Saturday
morning crowd of meditating yogis.
“Soften your internal
world, soften your interior edges.” The words unlocked lingering tension, a
grasping I wasn’t even aware I was holding and even my bones felt lighter.
Softening.
Years after that Saturday morning class, I’m still learning to soften.
This softening
nurtures love for myself. I am reminded to release my shoulders back and down
and let go of stress that pushed them up to my ears. I become more conscious of
my internal dialogue’s tone and gently urge kinder words to replace negative,
stale ones. This softening makes my internal world a more compassionate and
loving haven to turn inwards to when I need to step back and check in.
This softening welcomes and works with my sensitivity. I have been accustomed to fighting my hurt feelings and baffling over the intensity of my emotional reactions.
As Rumi wisely councils about emotions, “The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
Softening my own response to my emotions will provide needed acceptance and space to breathe and be a witness to what emotional guest is present.
This emotional acceptance paints a welcoming inner landscape, a shelter I can fully recover in after the misunderstanding, the insensitive comment, the awkward incident. I can find refuge within myself more quickly than before. This softening practice is a way to befriend myself. I am my own ally, understanding, or at least aware, of my actions and quick to forgive others and myself when there’s friction.
The
temperamental winter is a yoga teacher, reminding to me to soften, to relax my
outer shell and dissolve inner walls. I befriend the Being underneath the
tension and fears, and breathe a bit more deeply, softening and settling into
an embracing Now.
