Flashback: I’m in my college lit class, steaming with
self-righteousness, as we discuss Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon .
The protagonist, Milkman is a classic commitment-phobe. He runs from
relationships and responsibility and nonchalantly glides through the motions of
life. As the story progresses, Milkman begins to make commitments – to a family
quest, to a lady and takes responsibility – and ironically, as he decides to
commit to life, instead of becoming caged and stuck, he is set free from his
past and able to grow into a confident and full human being.
The discussion struck a raw heart chord.
Talk about commitment sparks thoughts about men like Milkman – the
dancing through life men folk who dazzle and flee – and at that time, I was
fuming over my own commitment-phobe heartbreaker. I even considered sending him
my lecture notes. Life Advice For You, I gleefully
imagined the email subject line would read.
My frustration with commitment-phobes has provoked many eye-rolling
rants. I never (like never ever) thought I was at all similar to the world’s
crew of Milkmans. I’ve always prided myself on my emotional openness and
ability to commit.
Well, I’m learning to beware of what I rant against because I tend to
project my own issues onto others. Thank you, Universe, for that lesson. Instead
of thinking of my then-ex during that English class lecture, I should have been
taking notes for myself.
This recent autumn bout of restlessness dissolved when I made this epiphany: I’m struggling with committing to Life. I’ve been weighing my options,
researching and researching, and hesitating to the point of paralysis. Keeping
my options open has left me feeling anxious and unclear. I’m not taking action
in the fear that I may make the wrong
decision and take the wrong course of
action.
My yogi-self knows that commitment issues are signs of an unbalanced
third chakra. Taking action, showing up in the world and making a commitment
are aspects of Self ruled by the third chakra, the energy center dwelling in the
space above the navel. This is our power center, home to our ambitions,
self-image and confidence. Represented by an inner sun, it represents the
vibrancy of our personality and our inner majesty.
I struggle with my third chakra. I struggle making and adhering to
personal boundaries. I feel self-conscious about my looks. Recently, instead of
taking intentional action, I’ve been prone to inaction.
Thankfully, I’ve got family members and friends with kick-ass (and
that would be the mantra of the third chakra) power centers. My younger sister
immediately comes to mind. She knows her needs, knows her boundaries and speaks
up for herself and for others.
My childhood best friend is a force to be reckoned with, too. She
knows her dreams and actively manifests them into reality. A recent example: she
was looking up trips to the Bahamas, happened to fill out a “win a giveaway
trip” form at a sushi restaurant while in Alabama and won a legitimate free
vacation for her and her boyfriend to a resort there. Now, I need to channel
some of that visioning power.
My third chakra has been off balanced. I can partially blame Mercury
in Retrograde and the Vata winds of October, but the third chakra demands us to
be responsible and to take responsibility for our actions.
So, I’m taking responsibility and taking action. I’m getting clear on
goals and taking steps: booked a plane ticket to New York City to see a best
friend and do some grad school visiting and started studying for the GRE. I’m
not taking action to just take action. I’m taking the necessary pause to
breathe deeply and listen and if I hear a “yes”, I go for it.
Returning to that undergraduate English class, I hear my professor
say, “Commitment liberates.” And like Milkman (and maybe those commitment-phobe
exes have learned this, too) I’ve found this to be very true.
Tips For Powering Up Your Third Chakra:
*Go to the gym. Sweat and
sparkle. Or take a walk. Get moving.
*Look Good. Dress Up. Impress Yourself.
*Practice a fun, vinyasa flow.
Focus on yoga poses that strengthen your core, home of the third chakra, like
boat pose.
*Take time to be quiet.
Contemplate an issue or something you’re struggling with making a decision on
and see what your gut tells you. What option feels light and right? Trust
yourself and go for it.
Get Pumpin’ Playlist :
*Play It Right – Slyvan Esso
*Don’t Wait – Mapei
*Bang Bang – Nicki Minaj, Jessie
J, Ariana Grande (my guilty pleasure)
*Every Other Freckle – alt-J
*Bailando – Enrique Iglesias
*Girls Chase Boys – Ingrid Michaelson
*Left Hand Free – alt-J
*So Have I For You – Nikka Costa
*Hey Mami – Sylvan Esso
