Happily welcoming Rachel
Benson to blogland! Rachel is a kindred spirit living in Portland, Oregon. She
is compassion in motion. Her laughter is sunshine for the soul. She is rooted
in her truth and inspires others to be their best selves.
Presenting her post on
transitioning from the Bluegrass to the West Coast. Curl up and savor her
words.
***
I find myself belly up on a comfortable table. I am in a
beautiful old house turned wellness center in North Portland. My fingers have
gone numb but I feel a wonderful sense of mental calmness and clarity. I lift
my arm up slowly to eye level and I see three needles sticking up in various
places on my left arm. Startled by the sight, I let me hand fall back on my
stomach. I try to be still and breathe deeply.
Acupuncture, a new
experience for me.
I cannot help but think of the plethora of new experiences I've
had in the past year. I uprooted my life in Kentucky, moved to Oregon, found a
place to live and started a new
job. It has been a wonderful journey, but definitely not an easy one.
I clearly remember my first night in Portland. I hiked to the
top of Mt Tabor-an extinct lava vent inside the city- at dusk and saw the city
laid out before me. Fear, excitement, confusion, and a strong sense of
adventure washed over me that night and has not yet fully left. Change can
shake us in ways that we never had expected, pushing us to our limits at times.
My first job in Portland was not what it was advertised to be.
Without a scrap of training I was thrust into a manager position at a sinking
ship company. Six days later I walked away. I knew this job was not right but I
felt confused, hurt and sad. Confidence in myself felt momentarily shattered.
My self image as someone who could handle whatever life thrust on me felt
broken. I was scared to tell friends and family because I feared judgement that
they may place on me. What I found was that not one of my friends or family
passed judgement on me for my decision. Instead, they showed me much love and
understanding. The most judgmental person I found was myself.
Through this experience I have learned the importance of going
slowly and treating myself with compassion. Yes, I walked away from the job,
but I am still a capable person. I followed my intuition and made a bold
decision that was not easy. I felt stronger from my experience once I allowed
myself to go through the emotions. I must treat myself at times like I would a
child, finding love for myself even when I am confused or hurt.
Looking back, I would not
wish this experience away.
I learned my limits on what I will accept at a job as well as
how to sort through a disappointment slowly
and lovingly.
***
Rachel’s photos of hiking
journeys capture the astounding beauty of nature. Her photography gives this
Kentuckian a breathtaking glimpse of the wondrous world out west.
Many Thanks, Dear Rachel for sharing this gift with us.
Many Thanks, Dear Rachel for sharing this gift with us.
