The
month of chocolate kisses, glitzy hearts and Aquarius birthdays arrives with a
sweet flurry of snowflakes. The Groundhog may have seen his shadow, but sudden
sun rays are beaming through grey clouds and there’s a hint of the softest blue
sky. I adore February – it feels lighthearted and rather splendid. I’ll be the
first to admit that I’m a lover of Valentine’s Day. I’m all about celebrating
and nurturing the loving relationships in my life – friends, family, crushes
and dogs included.
So,
while I’m slipping Valentine cards in the mail, I’m musing on love. I’m
thinking of the diverse ways we give love (quality time, gift giving, doing for
others, etc.) and just as importantly, on how well we receive love.
In order
to fully receive love, we have to believe that we are worthy of love. And here
is where the gremlins sneak in. The inner critic can pounce and list off the
reasons why we are not worthy of this awesome goodness manifesting in a dream
job or the dream beau.
For me,
self-worth issues bubbled up when my face broke out as an allergic reaction to
a natural makeup I started using. This coincided right when I got a dream
opportunity to work at my favorite non-profit and when I was dazzled by a
charming guy who I was all giddy and butterflies for. Mr. Charming treated me
to several sweet dates and was affectionate and kind, but I felt unworthy of
his attention and my self-consciousness blocked me from receiving the full
goodness of our times together.
Thankfully,
this was also the same time I discovered my guru, Brene Brown. I’ve praised
Brene Brown many a time on this blog and I will do so again and again. She
writes on the power of vulnerability, declaring that yes, we are imperfect but
still worthy of love and belonging. She also writes that only through
unconditionally loving yourself are you able of loving others. I can love my
other for all their quirks and embrace their insecurities and perceived flaws
but if I don’t do the same for myself then my love and acceptance of my other
doesn’t seem as true and strong.
“Marry
yourself first,” a wise lady recently told me.
Committing
to truly love and nurture myself is a daunting task. I’d rather pour my
affection onto friends and loved ones, but as the Buddha says, “you, yourself, as much as anybody in the
entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
So, how
to make self-love part of every day life. What practices can we incorporate to
ensure we are opening ourselves up to receiving all the abundant goodness the
universe wants to offer us? I’ve mused a bit and here are a few that are
opening my heart to love and sweetness.
*Receive the compliment.
I adored
this barista who worked at one of my favorite coffee shops and the manner in
which she received a compliment was a true gift for me. It was her last day on
the job and truly sorry to see her go I told her how I would miss her and what
a light she had been.
She
responded in her usual kindhearted and wise way, “Thank you,” and placing her
hand on her heart said, “I receive that.”
I love
this. So often when I get a compliment, I feel like I have to throw it back and
not accept it because it may seem cocky. But I know when I give a compliment I
mean it and I want the person to receive it - think of it as a gift. So, when I
receive a compliment (and I know it’s genuine), I receive it and I let is
sparkle up my day.
*Soak in the goodness of the moment.
Take note and celebrate the bliss
moments. I feel blissful when teaching yoga and I make sure to breathe that joy
in. I feel utterly comfortable having a night in watching a favorite movie and
eating ice cream. Savor.
If there’s resistance to receiving your
joy, pause and meet the resistance. Practice compassion as you ask and explore
the reasons why there’s a blockage present for you. Awareness is key. If you’re
aware there’s a pattern of resisting goodness, then you can work on
acknowledging it and letting it go by affirming you are worthy of receiving all
forms of joy in your life.
*Receive a moment of rest.
Yoga
practice ends with savasana, a restorative time to rest and let the body soak
in the benefits of the practice. I love watching yogis fully surrender to a
moment of non-doing (which is a time of great doing) and receive this time as
moment of rest for the body and mind. Whether or not you practice yoga, you too
can take a few moments a day to fully receive a moment of rest. This can be
done in the few moments before drifting off to sleep or upon waking in the
morning. Feel the body resting down, the nurturing flow of breath, and be in silent gratitude for this moment.
*Know how you heal.
Understand
what and who helps you heal. Some days I feel sparkly and confident and I can
easily disregard a rude comment or a confusing experience, but sometimes my
sensitive self takes everything personally. Time to heal and take care. I heal
through dancing, through listening to music, journaling and by speaking my
story to those who have earned my trust. Listen to your inner healer. Know how
you heal.
*Know your love language and the love languages of
others.
I show
love by spending quality time with friends and family. When I’m with you, I’m
wholeheartedly present with you. When I text, or email, my heart-full attention
is in every word.
As an
adolescent, if my friend’s love language wasn’t the same as my own, then I was
usually rather hurt when I found they didn’t listen and give me their full
attention like I did when we were together. It took a while, but now I
understand that my friends and loved ones show love in different ways and once
I learn their love language, I can appreciate their unique and diverse ways of
showering affection.
For
example, my best friend from childhood shows love by doing things for others.
She’d be the one I call if I got stranded at some wild party because she’d pick
me up in a heartbeat, no questions asked, and I’d treat her to a late night
milkshake because gift giving is one of my love languages, too.
So, dear
readers, wishing you a sweet and love filled February. Soak in the goodness and
treat yourself to some delicious chocolate!
Love & Sparkles,
Meredith
