I know this stretch of beach by heart. Once again, I find myself walking it
alone in the company of thoughts and emerging emotions. I walk barefoot along
the edge of the water, careful not to step on a jagged remain of a shell and
letting the salty waves catch my toes in their bubbling white foam.
The wind
is fierce, whipping my hair into tangles and complete disarray. I let nature be
my hair stylist. I release appearance insecurities to the wind; or rather the
wind gladly takes them from me.
Come as you are, the
roaring waves and whistling wind demand. Let
your true self be seen.
In the
majestic presence of nature, I feel like I have no choice but to let my guard
down and let myself be seen.
I feel
emotionally raw here, feet sinking into wet sand. My thoughts circulate
dilemmas waiting for me at home. The most pressing question, the one I hush,
but nevertheless whispers, rises
to be heard. For once, I don’t mind the question, not here, walking in the sun,
under the bluest piece of sky. I can handle myself here – the worries, the dark
thoughts, the delights – they can be objectively and equally seen and
understood like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle fashioning my twenty-four-year-old
life.
I tend
to overanalyze those puzzle pieces; I get too close when a step back provides
the answer I’m seeking.
Don’t try so hard. Just be, sings the sea.
No
matter the age I’ve been as I’ve walked this familiar piece of shore, and no
matter what has occupied my mind (my college decision, my first love, my senior
thesis), I return back to this same lesson, this same salty kissed reminder:
Just be.
Deep breath.
Breathing here is so easy; the wind makes sure that I am breathing evenly and
deeply. No holding, no pushing, no desperately seeking, no struggling, the
breath meets me here with ease and I meet my whole self here with ease.
Relax
into Being. This is my holiday gift from my time at the sea. It’s a seashell of
a lesson I pocket and take home with me. Home to the Bluegrass, to the yoga
classes and students I love so much, and to cinnamon cappuccinos … and when I
try too hard, I will remember the walk on the beach, the wind, the sun, and the
sea’s message to simply and exquisitely be.
